Poopy Pants in First Place

Day 1 is over. Sixteen teams are out! …and it’s pretty clear who had no clue when they completed their bracket. Sadly enough, it the usual suspects: Bone, Jada, Jordan… I don’t know what to tell you guys. Maybe we can hold a separate (“special”) Family Pool just for your family. I think that might give you guys a fighting chance. Otherwise, I feel like it’ll be the same old thing next year…the year after…etc., etc. Let’s talk about if after the tournament this year. I really want to help you guys. It’ll be like the Olympics and the Special Olympics. You guys will just compete in the “special” pool.

Dee and Keenan, I am happy to you guys got in. Sorry for getting the information to you at the last minute. I am assuming that is why you guys are bringing up the rear after day 1. Hang in there…it ain’t over yet. You’re doing just as well as Keith Adams. Well, actually, I’m not sure that’s saying very much. Come on, Keith…pick up the pace.

Congratulations to Corbin for landing in 1st place at the conclusion of day 1! Wait…who are we kidding? Corbin is 2 years old and he’s trying to understand the concept of not pooping in his pants. There’s no way this guy completed a bracket that has him in the 96th percentile. Jodi/Carl, I’m not sure which one of you completed this bracket for him…but you should have used it for yourself…especially you, Jodi. How does 17th place feel right about now?

Will Banks…welcome back. You’re looking good…again.

Aishah, Jasen, Big Jim, Easy E and Sharolyn “The Great,” you guys are looking good too. Can you hold on? Can you?

The Commissioner!